March 18, 2004
Handling Charges/Booking Charges
Obviously, my rant a couple of days ago about Warner Mycal hit a nerve. Paul has given the example of Ticketmester in the US, who charge a similar fee. Now, after reading GBB (er,...maybe), Martin Samuel, a West Ham fan and Times (that's The Times to my American readers, not the London Times, or the UK Times, or the Formerly Great Britain Times) journalist, is railing on West Ham United football club and their greedy chairman Terence Brown, for a similarly cynical policy.
Which is why those most deserving of reciprocal loyalty are treated with the greatest disdain. Reserving tickets by phone for West Ham’s match with Crewe incurs a £1.50 handling charge, not per booking but per ticket. So, in other words, West Ham’s ticket office charges extra for issuing tickets — as if to do so keeps the staff from their many other tasks.
Imagine a greengrocer that imposed a levy for handling fruit and vegetables and you have the idea. It is a con. Everybody should refuse to pay it, yet nobody does.
Full article:
Large helping of spite would be just the ticket for blindly loyal fans who turn up every week By Martin Samuel
Jerry: Excuse me, Id like to return this jacket.
Teller: Certainly. May I ask why?
Jerry: For spite.
Teller: Spite?
Jerry: Thats right. I dont care for the salesman that sold it to me.
(Seinfeld, season seven, episode 129: The Wig Master. Broadcast April 4, 1996)
VERY useful, spite. Very fulfilling. Very empowering. Take last weekend. Driving back from Birmingham, I ran over a piece of metal in the road and kicked a huge hole in my front passenger-side tyre. The spare turned out to be a useless space-saver, big stickers on it instructing driving at a maximum of 50mph, and it was a long way home. So I phoned the RAC and got some numbers for companies that supply real tyres roadside.
First up, ATS. Turned out my make of car needed a special tyre. Have they got it? Yes. Oh joy. Wont be with you for 90 minutes, though. No problem. Its worth the wait just to get home in one piece. At 89 minutes and 30 seconds, ATS called. Actually, we havent got the tyre. But well be by soon to fit the space-saver. No thanks. I went elsewhere. It took longer, but I wouldnt use ATS again if they had the last Michelin in town.
And now Im rubbishing their rotten service in a national newspaper. Feels good, I can tell you. Feels spiteful. Go elsewhere, people. The company that got me back on the road was called Hi-Q. Use them instead. Spite, glorious spite.
You know the reason football fans get shafted? Not spiteful enough.
Supporters are unique as consumers because they wear their brand loyalty like a badge of honour, no matter how shoddy the product. Terence Brown, the West Ham United chairman, gets away with selling the best players and crushing the potential of the club because more than 30,000 believe it is their duty to turn up every week, even as he sells them down the river. They feel there is no choice. They need to open up to the power of spite.
Like this. I will never use Avis Car Rental again because twice it has attempted (unsuccessfully) to claim money from me for accidents that did not take place. Also, it charges 1.35 per litre plus VAT to fill your tank up. No, it isnt a misprint. Avis Car Rental charges more than double the price of petrol to refuel your car.
That is Avis Car Rental. I have a receipt here that totals 42.01. To fill the same car with the same amount, Avis Car Rental would have charged 87.79. And, at least in my case, probably tried to stick me for a crash I never had.
The customer relations staff explained that it was a service. But not one that anybody who could be trusted at the wheel would wish to use. So I dont any more for spite. Yet I may still pay to watch West Ham versus Crewe Alexandra tonight, even though that means lining Browns pockets, and I feel just as strongly about being ripped off by him. Now wheres the logic in that?
Those who run the game are well aware of the inconsistency. Long ago, they realised sport was not bound by the same responsibilities to the customer that regulates other businesses. There are market forces in football as the chairman of any relegated club will confirm but sponsors, television companies and executive box-holders desert more readily than the poor bloody infantry occupying the main stand or the terraces behind the goal.
Which is why those most deserving of reciprocal loyalty are treated with the greatest disdain. Reserving tickets by phone for West Hams match with Crewe incurs a 1.50 handling charge, not per booking but per ticket. So, in other words, West Hams ticket office charges extra for issuing tickets as if to do so keeps the staff from their many other tasks.
Imagine a greengrocer that imposed a levy for handling fruit and vegetables and you have the idea. It is a con. Everybody should refuse to pay it, yet nobody does.
This week the ticket allocation for the European Cup final in Gelsenkirchen, Germany, was revealed. Get this. In a stadium that holds 52,000, there will be a mere 14,000 each for the two competing clubs. Uefa, via hospitality packages, national associations, sponsors, media, security and online ballots of neutral fans, has siphoned off the remaining 24,000.
This is nothing short of scandalous. Of the eight teams left in the tournament, only AS Monaco, with an average home attendance of 10,320, would not sell out its allocation. Real Madrid average 71,517 (and drew about 90,000 in tragic circumstances on Sunday), AC Milan 60,492, Chelsea 41,263, Arsenal 38,043, Lyons 35,026, FC Porto 26,218 and Deportivo La Corua 25,940. That Uefa places corporate customers and its European football family as if the ordinary supporter is some bastard interloper above those who pay to watch the game week in, week out in seven cities across Europe demonstrates contempt that should be hard to bear.
Chelsea and Arsenal each have more than 20,000 season ticket-holders, not a difficult number to satisfy if the event is held in a suitable location and tickets fairly distributed. Not to be able to accommodate supporters who do not miss a match on what would be the biggest night in the history of their football club is a failing that should leave any administrator shamefaced. It is staggering that Uefa not only indulges this incompetence but adds to it with its greed. Time for another spiteful interlude, I think.
Uefas arrogance reminds me of Norwich Union, the building society that ran my endowment policies (into the ground) over several years. I used to spend idle spite-time imagining new slogans for its advertising campaigns. Norwich Union Why Not Just Set Fire To It? Norwich Union Wrong About Everything Since 1993.
In this case, the truth was stranger than my fiction. Norwich Union did such a bad job with investments that it imposed a Stupid Tax on people daft enough to leave money with it. After a series of letters informing us that the future wasnt as rosy as anticipated and its experts seemed to have no greater idea of what would make money than the florid-faced deadbeats one finds in high-street bookmakers backing each-way shots at Wincanton, it was decided to place our money somewhere safer. Like under the mattress.
Far from quoting me happy over this, Norwich Union revealed that so many people had reached the same dismal conclusion that it was imposing extra charges on those wishing to jump ship. In other words, it was penalising you after it had lost your money.
Dick Turpin would have donned a mask at this point. So now Norwich Union sits in my file marked cheats, charlatans and highwaymen, alongside ATS, Avis, the West Ham ticket office and the chap at Uefa who allocated 24,000 of 52,000 tickets to his pals.
And while a cancelled policy, tyre or holiday rental is not going to bring big business to its knees overnight, there is a reason companies fear the power of the discerning consumer. In time, a trickle becomes a flood. Uefa might believe that it needs no more than 14,000 Real Madrid fans in May, but its backers wouldnt be too happy if, next season, every regular cheated out of a ticket in Gelsenkirchen turned his back on the Champions League and left the Bernabu half-empty.
In an era when Englands football team is referred to as a brand and its followers as customers, maybe more should exercise their consumer rights wisely. As it stands, fans are treated little better than serfs and their blind loyalty keeps them in chains. They need to find the power, to learn the value of spite.
And, yes, I know. A fan stays true to his team. A supporter supports through thick and thin. So why isnt such devotion respected? Sadly, to those that run the game, the man in the 30 seat (plus 1.50 booking fee) is a consumer without the power to shop around. Maybe it is time to give the salesman his jacket back. After all, if we really are supporters, shouldnt we have tickets?
Posted by Gary at March 18, 2004 01:27 PM