Gary's Boring Blog

Japanese Orthopeadic Clinic

I went to a local doctor's office/clinic yesterday morning. Generally, it seems as though Japanese doctor's offices on weekdays are a place for elderly folks to hang out and catch up on the gossip. This was no exception. Megumi and I were the only people there under 50, I think, and Rosie was briefly the star of the waiting room. The place I went to was an orthopaedic clinic, so I think many of the patients go there to get a bit of relief for their aching limbs.

Anyway, I saw the doctor, a friendly enough young chap. He poked me around a bit, hurt me a few times before declaring that I have 3 herniated (or slipped) discs in my lower spine. This was no big shock, although I thought the problem was just with the lowest disc. He then sent me off for an x-ray just to confirm his diagnosis. After the x-ray, the doctor showed me the problem, and said he would do two things. One was to try and stop the immediate pain. This involved a pain-relief injection, and 3 days' worth of anti-inflammatory and pain-relief medicine. The second 'prong' to the treatment is what, in Japan is called 'rehabilitation'. This again was a two-stage process. The first was the use of electrical currents, attached by those probes, to try and stimulate the nerve, I suppose. I have had this before, and it was no big deal.

The next part was the surprising part of the treatment. They called it 'massage'. My preferred choice of word would be 'torture'. Basically, I lay down on a massage bed, and they covered me over with some blanket-type thing. The bed then proceeded to 'massage' me. If you have ever used one of those massage chairs, you will be aware of the sensation. Rollers, starting from my feet, rolled up my back, rubbing against my spine. Normally, this would probably have been quite pleasant, but seeing as I had, moments before, been screaming when the doctor manipulated my back and legs, it was far from a pleasant feeling. The rollers seemed to get quickly bored of causing me pain, so moved on to my shoulder area and back to my legs, leaving me to breathe a brief sigh of relief. The bed had a timer on it, and when, after a good 3 or 4 minutes of agony, I first dared to glimpse at it, it unbelievably showed that I still had 9 minutes of the 10 minutes treatment remaining!!
The rollers inevitably came back to attack me again, making it a long 9 minutes before I was eventually allowed to crawl, exhausted, off the thing.

One detail which I shouldn't omit is the music. On laying down on the bed, a large plastic cover was placed over my head, making me feel completely locked in. It was, I was told, for the relaxing music. Yes, as I lay enduring this machine-powered pain, they actually played me those soft, meditation/ralaxation sounds - you know the gurgling rivers and the dolphins chatting and the rain-forest birds singing a lament about their fast-disappearing habitat.

All in all, it was a rather bizarre experience. The doctor did tell me that they have a 'water massage bed' as well, so if I am lucky, I may get a go on that next time I go to the clinic. Some of the old ladies were also putting their arms in a large sink of green water. Not sure if they were curing their ailments or playing some kind of pensioners game, but I wonder what I would need to do to get a go of that piece of equipment.

details about bad backs
Family Doctor
Spine-Health

Posted by Gary at July 6, 2004 01:11 PM