Gary's Boring Blog

The Peace Stealers

Rosie's operation was one month ago today. She was 7 months old then. She is now 8 months old. She was put into the care of some of the best doctors in Japan. We were aware that open heart surgery carries risks, but we never even considered that there would be complications or problems.

As you can probably imagine, the past month has been absolute hell for me and Megumi. We have been blaming ourselves - "is it our fault that her heart was not perfect? did we do something wrong? should we have been better, kinder, more considerate, less selfish people? are we being punished?" We have also questioned our decision to go ahead with the surgery. In floods of tears, we have often asked each other "why did we do this to our little baby? why didn't we wait until she was bigger?Why, why, why...?"

We have looked to the future, and worried about what health problems Rosie will have, whether her brain has been affected by all she has been through, whether she will be as energetic and happy as she was before the surgery.

We know that punishing ourselves will not help Rosie get healthy, and we are trying as hard as we can to be strong and optimistic. Yesterday, I remembered a reading from the funeral of our friend Paul. It was one of his favourite readings, and I think of it as a gift from him to us, in this our time of need. We will do our best to focus on today, and give 100% in every thing we do today. Yesterday is gone, and tomorrow is a result of our actions today.

Rosie, darling, hang in there.

"LIVE ONE DAY AT A TIME" MATTHEW 6:34 (TLB)
There are two thieves that will always steal your peace – yesterday and tomorrow. Jesus said, ‘Don’t worry about tomorrow…’ (Matthew 6:34 NCV). Why? Because He knew you’d have enough to handle today! God won’t give you grace for tomorrow until tomorrow comes. Do you ever have an attack of the ‘what if’s?’ What if the stock market doesn’t bounce back? What if the medicine doesn’t work? What if? What if? What if? Look out, you’re about to be dragged off into worry.

The other area in which we get into trouble, is living in the regrets of yesterday.

Everybody makes mistakes – even those we think are so great and never make mistakes. Listen: ‘Every man shall bear his own burden’ (Galatians 6:5). We each have our own little load of oppressive faults and struggles. We all say and do things we wish we hadn’t said or done. ‘So what can I do?’ you ask. Trust God to make it all work out right. He’s able. He can help us clean up our mistakes. When you say something you shouldn’t, instead of worrying about whether or not you offended someone, ask the Lord to let them know your heart was right, even though you put your foot in your mouth. Trust God to work on them and to give you favour. That way you don’t have to spend the next several days worrying, or cringe when you meet them.

God is not the great, I was or the great, I will be. He is the great I Am! So live in today and enjoy His goodness.

Posted by Gary at August 16, 2004 11:50 AM